Asking

I must confess, I don’t have much today beyond a hunger to write something. It’s been a few days! I’ve had a stomach bug. It’s rare for me to be the only one sick, or the one sick the longest, with something like this. Usually if I get it, it’s pretty mild. Not this time.

Obviously with being sick, my schedule’s been off. Family schedule, school schedule, and my typical morning routine – including time set aside for Bible study and prayer. As I was thinking about it all this morning, it made me stop and wonder how much I’m going through motions with that routine and schedule and how much I’m really seeing growth in my life. In some ways I feel as if I’m growing. In other ways, I see no difference between the days I have my regular study and prayer time and the days when I just do the best I can when I can.

I’m honestly not sure how to determine if I am just going through motions or if I’m truly connecting on every level I should be. So, my challenge is to really seek the Lord’s answer to it all. How does He see me? That’s a scary question to ask, but I hunger to know the answer. I desire to be real not just before other people, but before God Himself.

So, I’m asking. Really asking. And really seeking an answer. And my hope is that the answer will truly result in new growth in my heart, mind, and relationship with Christ.